The Green Goop

Milo O'Connell 10/9/08

Poem

I like potatoes.

People like potatoes.

Lots of people like potatoes.

Because, they taste good.

***

Once upon a time there was a man who bought a sweater on sale. The sweater had many many pockets. Cha ching. The store clerk said that the sweater was very nice, but never to put a hamburger in the upper right hand pocket.

One day at brunch he forgot this advice, and he found that after he'd put the hamburger in the upper right pocket, the pocket became carnivorous. Just kidding.

Then the pocket threw up a puddle of acid.

The person removed the vomiting sweater, and the sweaters remains burnt in a puddle of bright florescent green goop.

The green goop burned through the fabric of time and space and created a large hole to a parallel universe.

They attempted to stop any accidents with the hole by surrounding it with orange safety cones, but it grew bigger. It claimed a traffic guard, the cones, and Mr. Mock.

As the rip in the fabric of time and space grew bigger, soon, it was hiding underneath a swimming pool. The man who had bought the sweater was swimming in that pool. And he dove into the hole. Suddenly he found himself in a land made of swiss cheese.

"Oh No, I have fallen into the swiss cheese universe," he thought. As he looked around he found another hole. Naturally he jumped through it, to escape the horrible swiss cheese landscape.

But sadly he just emerged covered in sticky yellow cheese sauce.

I hate my life! he screamed, spitting goo from his nose and mouth.

I'm going to transfer to clown college!

Suddenly he head was struck by a large moving van filled with swiss cheese.

When he awoke, he found himself on a bed made of swiss cheese.

He realized he was still probably in the land of swiss cheese at this point. He found a rocket launcher (made from cheese.) and used it to fly into the sky.

He realized he was on the moon--made of cheese--and when he looked down he could see an earth--made out of american cheese.

TO BE CONTINUED.